Sunday

The orphanage doesn't allow visitors on Sundays, so me and Baby Sis planned to visit the Hilton Hotel to see if we could send a photo of our new child home from there. We had tried using the Guest House internet, but only succeeded in crashing the computer!! During breakfast one of the Danish sisters asked if we would like to accompany her to an Ethiopian Church that their driver had invited them to go to. At first both sisters were going to go, but the newly adopted little boy had had a rough night and the Mum sister was too tired to go. We leapt at the chance of this experience, as we hadn't done any sightseeing or seen anything apart from the orphanage!

I'm not sure what part of the city the Church was located in, but it was a real Ethiopian family church, not a sightseeing, tourist opportunity. We arrived after the service had started and sat crammed in at the back of the Church. The sermon and singing were all in Amharic, although we were able to recognise some biblical names. The children were all in Sunday School outside, but one very cute little boy was obviously fascinated by the ferenji and kept coming sitting near us and edging closer and closer to the strange people. As soon as he got within touching distance one of the Church Wardens would notice him and haul him back to where he should be lol.

The congregation were obviously very devout and during parts of the service would raise their hands and sway from side to side. On a couple of occassions whatever the Minister said caused some to ululate or shout out. The driver translated some parts of the service for us, but for most of the time we just tried to soak up the atmosphere and the feeling of being in the real Addis Ababa.

I came away from the service feeling profoundly guilty for taking our child away from this loving and devout community and country, although growing up in an orphanage would our child ever get to experience this? I also had a very numb bum as the service was over two hours long, which seems longer when you don't have a clue what is going on!! After the service the driver escorted us back to the car and then apologised that he would have to leave us there while he went to say goodbye to his friends. Once he had gone a skinny and dirty little girl came to the car window telling us she was hungry, it was heartbreaking she really did look starving. The Danish sister gave her some biscuits, which she tucked into with relish.

When the driver dropped us back off at the Guest House he refused to take any payment for taking us to Church, he said it was his duty to go to church and he couldn't take money for that.

The contrast with our Sunday afternoon was stark! We decided we would go over to the Hilton to use their fast internet connection and to swim in their pool. The Hilton grounds were like another world! Our drivers humble, beaten up car looked very out of place next to all the brand new shiny motors around! There was an airport style security scanner at the entrance, but we were waved past it without having to be scanned. The lobby was all marble and posh sofas. We made our way to the business centre and spent half an hour sending emails, checking our social networking sites and updating our blogs! Then we went off in search of the pool.

We hired our towels, got changed and headed for the pool. A pool attendant showed us to a pair of unoccupied sun loungers, and then brought us a parasol. It was so hot that I stayed under the parasol the whole time, I just have to look at a picture of the sun to burn to a crisp!! Baby Sis sunned herself and even braved the pool once. I found the whole experience to be very very uncomfortable. We were sat next to two spoilt teenage English girls (diplomats daughters??) who spent the entire time complaining about their hotel manicure, the state of the bars in Marrakesh or the hotel in general, whilst reading trashy celeb magazines. They were very rude and condescending to the hotel staff and made me want to slap them HARD! Spoilt little rich b*tches! We also saw a parade of guests going to a birthday party on the grounds, and could hear the laughs and squeals of the children as they played the party games.

When it neared the time we'd asked our driver to pick us up, we took turns having a shower. The showers were WONDERFUL :-) Big, hot and powerful!! That sounds rude - but I am definitely talking about showers here!!! We both felt so clean and fresh afterwards :-) Back at the Guest House we both agreed that the shower was great but we weren't sure if it was worth the nauseatingness of the whole day!!

The Orphanage

We spent most of our days in the week we were in Addis at the orphanage. Most days our driver would pick us up at 10am and we'd return to the Guest House at about 4pm.

On the first few visits to the orphanage I seemed to have developed a defensive tunnel vision. All I registered, all I saw, all I allowed myself to see was my new child. However, the many, many, many other children broke through my defenses and it was heartbreaking to realise just how many children there were in just this one small orphanage :-( The majority were small babies under 12 months old, then there were about 10 toddlers and a handful of older children. The orphanage director works tirelessly to place the children and the majority were already allocated to families, which eases my heart a little. I just hope there are no hold ups and the children, especially the older ones join their new families soon.

I wish it were possible to adopt more of the children, one two year old little boy who so reminded me of Little Prince at that age and a little girl slightly older who was so loving and caring with the other toddlers in particular touched my heart. Then there were the two older boys, who were so desperate for a hug, a touch a cuddle. One spent an hour stood by my side as I cuddled our new child, just letting me hug him and stroke his tummy. He told the Nurse on staff that he loved me. I hope his new Mummy and/or Daddy arrives soon and gives him all the cuddles he so obviously needs.

Apart from one or two children who were obviously ill, all the children and babies are healthy and well taken care of in the circumstances. And I saw how hard Nurse worked to care for one ill toddler, assessing him and working out what in her meagre store of medications would help him. At first I was scared to ask how he was, he seemed to have disappeared and I worried that something awful had happened, but a few days later he was out and about with the other children, not fully recovered but tonnes better than he had been.

The babies and toddlers are all weighed weekly and I was allowed to take a copy of our child's weight record. I was also told that I would be allowed to take away the immunisation record once we have legally adopted.

There were some worrying things about the care the babies/toddlers got. For example we were told it was cold when we were there, and so the toddlers were kept in their cots all day, except to eat! And the tiny babies were kept swaddled up, wearing hats and covered in thick blankets, the poor things were so hot and sweaty! The slightly older babies seemed to spend their whole days in car seats, and most of them had perfected the worrying art of self stimulating - either flicking their fingers in front of their faces or kicking their legs to rock the seat. And the nappy rashes were horrendous, it turned my stomach watching our child's nappy be changed and listening to the cries. I did manage to get in touch with another UK adopter who arrived the day after we left and got them to bring nappy rash cream, I hope it helps.

I am not complaining about the way the babies and children were cared for, the staff did a fantastic job with their very limited resources. The babies were all held to be fed and all the children seemed to be happy and healthy. Its just not the same as having a committed parent(s) who are solely looking out for one or two children's welfare, and that is the environment that children NEED to thrive. No matter how good an orphanage is, its not a family, and all children NEED a family.

New Flower Guest House

We weren't impressed by our first view of the New Flower Guest House. It was late at night, we were tired and we were ushered along a short downstairs corridor and shown a tiny room, nothing like the ones they show on the website!! The shared toilet/shower room next door was erm basic!! But we were too tired to care and just got ready for bed and slept. The bed creaked and groaned every time we moved, and it wasn't a double - either that or we'd both grown a lot on the flight over!! And don't even ask about the barking dogs!!!

However, during the next week we learnt to appreciate the Guest House and the extremely helpful staff. The accommodations were pretty basic, but they were throughout Addis - if we wanted Western comforts we would have to pay Western prices for a room at the Hilton or Sheraton! There were at least three power cuts during our week's stay, but the Guest House owner explained that electricity is rationed through the city and each area of the city takes turns at having no power. And I've read reviews of many different Guest Houses on adoptive family's blogs and most of them mention power cuts and barking dogs - so its just a feature of staying in Addis lol.

The other guests were all adoptive families and it was lovely seeing them interact and start to bond with their new little ones. While we stayed there was a German couple adopting a baby boy, two pairs of Danish sisters where one sister was adopting and the other sister was supporting them, an American couple from Colorado adopting their second baby girl and a Canadian couple adopting a 5 year old daughter, as a sister to their previously adopted 13 and 6 year old Ethiopian children.

The atmosphere was one of mutual support and assistance. I gave one of the Danish sister's my spare memory card for her camera. She was saving all her pictures to a memory stick, but was terrified that something would happen to them and she might lose them. Then when she and her new baby became covered in "bites" and her sister wasn't she used some of the medication I'd taken, just in case it was Scabies. The other guests allowed me and Baby Sis to use the upstairs (warm!!) shower and we all pooled knowledge of where to eat, where to shop and what to buy :-)

So we went from an "OMG what have we DONE??" attitude to the Guest House, to feeling so at home and comfortable and LOVING it :-) And I've just booked to stay there again when we all go over for our Court Date :-)

Despite our initial misgivings I would heartily recommend it to everyone as a lovely calm welcoming oasis in a busy city.

Arrival

Soon we were landing in Ethiopia. I was finally in the same country as our future child, wow what a feeling :-) We collected our luggage, although a porter insisted on loading our trolley for us, after such a long flight the assistance was very much appreciated. We then went off to join the queue to get our entry Visa (or we could have got the visa then our luggage - I can't remember!!). We were near to the front of the queue, so it didn't take too long, but I'm not looking forward to this when we've got Little Prince causing chaos with us!!!

On our way out of the Arrivals Lounge we were stopped by security who wanted to check the receipts for our checked baggage and make sure we only had our own bags. Luckily I knew that this was a requirement and had the receipts ready for inspection. Our Guest House had said they would be at the Airport to meet us, so we were disappointed not to see them holding a sign outside the Arrivals! We hung around, tried (unsuccessfully!) to send text messages home to let people know we'd arrived safe and sound, but no matter what we tried they wouldn't send!! VERY frustrating as we'd had no problem while sat in Khartoum Airport!! We waited and waited for the Guest House driver to appear, and kept having to put off other taxi drivers who were touting for business. Luckily our mobile phones did work to make calls, and after calling the Guest House our lift finally turned up. It turns out that there was a road closed and he'd been on his way :-)

He seemed awfully young, I later found out he is similar age to LMS, but extremely competent. Although he did blanche when he saw the amount of our luggage, and when we saw his tiny car we realised why!! He must be an expert at playing "Tetris" as he managed to fit us and all our luggage in :-) The Guest House was only a few minutes from the Airport, and we went straight to bed when we arrived.

Travelling

I'll try to remember what we got up to and post about it all, but I might have forgotten some bits and others are just too difficult to describe.

Well our journey started with a drive to the Airport. Mr Messy and Little Prince took me and Baby Sis and despite the very early wake up call, Little Prince was quite happy and chatty on the way to the Airport. In fact he managed to hold it together and not get upset until the moment he walked out of the terminal holding Daddy's hand, he turned round managed a feeble wave and started to sob. Which of course set me off too, thank you for the hugs Baby Sis. It was hard taking that sobbing image of my little boy with me as the last I saw of him for a week :-(

I had been sent a HUGE box of baby clothes by a fantastically generous friend, and was a bit worried about whether or not this would be accepted by the airline. But there was no problem whatsoever checking it in, our only problem was lifting it onto the conveyor belt lol. Our local Airport is only teeny, so it took no time at all to check in, but then we had to wait for the security station to open so we could go through to the Departure Lounge. Once through we got a drink each and sat watching BBC World News while waiting for our plane to be ready to board. My stomach was churning by this point, what on earth was I doing?? Travelling half way round the world to meet a complete stranger who would become my child!!! How insane is that?!?! And how would I cope in a completely foreign country?? I'm a fussy eater would I find things to eat?? What if something went wrong?? Baby Sis was very reassuring that we would be FIIIIIIIINE, but no matter how reassuring she was I kept finding new things to worry about!!!

Our first flight to Schipol was short and sweet. And for once I was so worried about what I was undertaking that I wasn't worried at all about landing and take off!!! Once in Schipol we had an hour or so before our next flight, so we went upstairs to the cafe area for a drink and to try what they said was free internet access. They lied - you had to pay, so we didn't bother. Before we knew it, it was time to board our next flight. While checking in there was a small boy lying on the floor screaming, and its just our luck that he ended up sitting across the aisle from us!! He was not a happy flier!! His mum had a small baby to deal with too, who seemed to take up all her attention, so it was left to the other passengers and the flight crew to help out with the little boy! Luckily once he was able to take his seatbelt off he calmed down a lot :-)

I watched Madagascar 2 and kept getting told off by Baby Sis for laughing too loudly!! What can I say?? It was a funny film!!! Then I watched most of a home makeover type show, before the man in front decided to recline his seat which meant I couldn't see my screen properly! I "heard" the end of the show!!
I had a lump in my throat as we flew over the area where some of Little Prince's birth family come from. One day we hope to take him to visit the area. Our first stop in Africa was in Khartoum, Sudan. The plane landed allowed passengers to embark and disembark and then sat on the runway for a couple of hours with the doors open, while we were refueled. After a while we realised we could wander around the plane, so we walked to the back doors to get some welcome fresh air. It was so warm! The Air Steward told us we weren't allowed to take pictures out of the door, luckily he hadn't seen us taking some out of the window lol. And even more luckily neither had anyone else, I don't want to become a diplomatic incident!!
The Steward also took really good care of the little boy, playing a card game with him that seemed to involve throwing most of the cards on the floor while laughing lol. He even found a box of Airline chocolates and shared them between all the children on the flight :-) However, after this taste of freedom the little boy was even more reluctant to be fastened back into his seat for take off! The Steward had to squeeze in front of the little boy and hold him in his seat during take off (the family were in the bulkhead seats so this was just about doable!) with the little boy complaining "owie" the whole time!!

Home safe and sound :-)

Well I've been home for almost a week, but wanted to spend time with my family and get my thoughts together a bit before posting.

Little Prince coped extremely well with our separation, although he has been extra clingy and a bit wild since I've returned! Thank you Post Lady for pointing out that I must be a bad influence on him, as he is fine when I'm not here!!! Mr Messy and LMS think that being in his usual routine, and at school each day helped Little Prince cope enormously and they are probably right. His teacher was so understanding, letting him have a picture of his new sibling and another of him and me together pinned up by his table, and making sure the other staff knew to be extra nurturing with him while I was away.

I am really proud of the way the whole family coped without me :-) I returned to a lovely tidy(including Drama Teen's bedroom!!!) and clean house, with the washing all taken care of. I returned to a fairly calm Little Prince who had lots to tell me about what he'd been doing. I returned to a pair of sisters who had argued but not killed each other!! Well done everyone - you all did great :-)

Almost home

We are back in Europe, but stuck in Amsterdam as our flight has been cancelled due to fog!! We are hoping to get put on a flight aftr lunch and get home later than expected.

Sorry I haven't updated the blog, but the internet connections are so very very slow in Addis, that I just haven't been able to log on!

It was agony to leave our little one, and every mile we travelled from Addis cut like a knife.

Being in Ethiopia was an experience that has changed my outlook on life and humbled me completely. Once I've had chance to spend time with my family and got my jumbled thoughts together I'll try and write about the experience.

Missed you all
Love
Janet