This morning Little Prince had his 6 monthly check up with his Paediatrician. He has grown 3cm, his blood pressure is good but he has lost a couple of pounds since his last check up. As his weight loss was so minimal the Assistant Paediatrician wasn't too concerned. He asked a few questions about how Little Prince was coping at school etc and noted it all down. I asked if he would arrange a referral to an OT, he said he would check with the Paediatrician in charge, but that he didn't hold out too much hope of us getting an appointment any time soon :-( I'll be seeing our GP on Monday to see what he can do. It is at times like this that I really miss our ability to pay for private referrals :-(
Me and Little Prince had lunch together at a nearby fastfood restaurant before setting off to our second appointment of the day, a meeting with *Tummy Mummy. I had received a phone call from the Social Worker this morning, confirming the details of the meeting and letting me know about some major changes in Tummy Mummy's circumstances. Unfortunately they aren't good changes, and I drove to the meeting steeling myself in case I had to get Little Prince out of the meeting abruptly, whilst also working out how I could both keep him calm and then explain my actions. We arrived at the meeting room first, which worried me as I wondered if Tummy Mummy was going to turn up. I distracted Little Prince by allowing him to play on his iPod, I was both relieved and anxious when Tummy Mummy and Social Worker arrived a couple of minutes after us.
I had made sure that Little Prince had taken his medication, and he was calm and well behaved throughout the meeting, I was very proud of how well he coped. I had to try and act as though I didn't know what the Social Worker had told me that morning, as Tummy Mummy is not aware that either this Social Worker, or I know. Luckily Little Prince was in a co-operative and chatty mood and between us me and the Social Worker kept him talking about the different things he has been up to since the last meeting. He also enjoyed playing with the big boxes of Lego and Popoids in the meeting room and acting out various scenarios with the models he'd made.
At the end of the meeting Little Prince gave Tummy Mummy a hug and said he would like to meet up again, and we set a date for next time. Given the conversation I had this morning with the Social Worker I think I had better chat to her again, when Little Prince is at school, to find out if she thinks these face to face meetings are going to be sustainable. I need to be able to prepare Little Prince for whatever happens as best as I can. I also need to see if the change in circumstances is likely to be permanent, as we have always been completely honest with Little Prince about his Birth Family and if it is unlikely to change then we will need to tell him at some point.
*I mean no disrespect by using the term Tummy Mummy, I use it as this is what Little Prince currently chooses to call her and his views are the ones that are important to me.
We have discussed many of the different terms that can be used in these circumstances, and I think at his age and level of emotional maturity, he needs her to be a Mummy to him and that is why he chooses to call her that. During the meetings he will refer to me as Mum/Mummy and her as Tummy Mummy. I have never felt that I have to be his only Mummy, I'm not and I never will be. It doesn't bother me when he says Real Mummy/Real Family when referring to them either, we are both Real Mummies/Real Families, I know I we each have our own place in his heart. After all if I can love four different children with all my heart, why can't he love two Mummies with all his?