I've been reading the latest post on the Rumour Queen blog and the responses to it. And its making me feel very sad :-( It reminds me of the reactions to the 1999 (ish??) rule changes for China adoption, that allowed people who already had children to adopt non special needs children. Some people publically posted cheers - that they wouldn't have to take a special needs child!! I found that hurtful - one of our children has a special need that is commonly referred from China and it felt like these prospective adopters were cheering because they didn't have to have a child like her. Which they were. And she is one of the most lovely, bouncy, happy, confident girls I know - why wouldn't someone want a child like her?? I guess the situation is just so close to home that it feels very personal - that people are rejecting my child and not an anonymous child with a special need. Anyway it just makes me sad. Very sad.
Monday, 13 August 2007
Feeling sad and blue :-(
I've been reading the latest post on the Rumour Queen blog and the responses to it. And its making me feel very sad :-( It reminds me of the reactions to the 1999 (ish??) rule changes for China adoption, that allowed people who already had children to adopt non special needs children. Some people publically posted cheers - that they wouldn't have to take a special needs child!! I found that hurtful - one of our children has a special need that is commonly referred from China and it felt like these prospective adopters were cheering because they didn't have to have a child like her. Which they were. And she is one of the most lovely, bouncy, happy, confident girls I know - why wouldn't someone want a child like her?? I guess the situation is just so close to home that it feels very personal - that people are rejecting my child and not an anonymous child with a special need. Anyway it just makes me sad. Very sad.
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25th May 2009 - See New Child again & Court Date
23rd May 2009 - Fly back to Ethiopia
26th March 2009 - Fly to Ethiopia :-)
3rd March 2009 - Dossier Arrived at Orphanage
26th February 2009 - Dossier sent to Ethiopia
22nd December 2008 - Dossier back at DCSF
28th November 2008 - Certificate of Eligibility ISSUED
6th October 2008 - PASSED Approval Panel
7th July 2008 - Homestudy Update Started
28th Feb 2008 - Told LA we wished to change country
LID (Logged in Date) with CCAA 16th August 2007
Documents to China 10th August 2007
Passed Approval Panel 5th March 2007
Homestudy started 6th June 2006
First Contact with our LA 1st Jan 2006
7 comments:
I just read that on RQ and it makes me sad too. My sweet little one has a c/l and c/p just repaired and we love her so much and her special need has not been an issue for us anymore than anything else that goes along with raising a child.
It is sad. It's hard to say if their feelings are generated by selfishness or fear.
Some of the sweetest children I know have special need or needs, and some of the most difficult to like are considered "normal".
God bless parents like you, and so many others, that are willing to love a child despite their differences.
I think its hard not to take it personally when these issues affect our own families. Hopefully people will use RQ's message to become more prepared about issues they could face when they receive their referral.
Best wishes
Janet
PS K1 - I don't love my daughter despite her differences, I just love her because she is my daughter :-)
Thank You Mummy =]
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I was so annoyed and ashamed that people could write about children as "products" and "damaged" goods.It made my blood boil.
Janet, I tried to post this comment earlier today, but apparently it did not go through.
I am very chagrined with the poor way I worded my first comment. My intention behind the comment was exactly what you said, that parents should love their children unconditionally, with or without differences, simply because they are their children.
I apologize if my clumsy wording offended you, your daughter, or any of your other readers!
Hi K1,
Your comment didn't offend me at all, don't worry :-) I just wanted to point out that I love my daughter because she's my daughter - her having a facial difference is neither here nor there - she's just my daughter :-)
Love
Janet
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