The Phone call

I got totally fed up of waiting for the headteacher to ring me, so deciding to be proactive rather than reactive, I rang her. I asked if she had received the letter and info I had sent, as I had had to leave it with another member of staff to pass on to her. She confirmed that she had received it, and that she was responding in writing. She read out her letter to me, but I can't remember what it said!! (I'll be able to fill you in after I pick Little Prince up in half an hour, as it will be in his bag). She apologised profusely for the dreadful position and upset I was put through yesterday, and said that the school want to work with us to help Little Prince settle in. I told her that we had always tried hard to work with the school and that I was shocked that they had been so unsupportive and aggressive yesterday. She has read some of the articles I sent in already, and found them very thought provoking - hope she can provoke some thoughts in the Dinner Lady!!! I asked if she could ensure in the future, that if there are concerns about Little Prince could they be relayed to me (or Mr Messy) through either herself (head) or his class teacher, as I didn't want to be accosted by the dinner lady like that again. She totally agreed that it was handled very very badly, and that the dinner lady should not have approached me at all. She said she had spoken to the dinner lady about this, and pointed out that she had made the situation much worse and that it wasn't helpful at all. The dinner lady (and her colleague who I have no problem with at all - and I told the head that) is very upset at having caused so much trouble - so she should be, I have no sympathy for her at all at the moment!! She said that it had been made clear to all the staff that this must not happen again and that we must all work together to help Little Prince settle in. She also confirmed that the staff would now not be telling Little Prince he can't have his comfort blankie or suck his thumb, if that is what he needs to do. Little Prince told me that someone at school told him he can't suck his thumb as he has to be a big boy now, so I'm glad that has been sorted out too.

I asked if school would find it useful to have someone from the local Post Adoption Team come in and talk to them, and pointed out that they would be hearing the message from a professional, rather than someone they have decided is a hysterical mother!! I was in a bad mood I couldn't help myself!!! Anyway the head said she felt that it could be very useful to have someone come in and speak at the next staff meeting. So long as they GET the issues, I don't care who they listen to - me, the literature, the Post Adoption Worker, whoever - they just need to UNDERSTAND!!!!

I rang our social worker and let her know what had been going on and asked if either herself or someone on her team, could contact school and maybe even attend a staff meeting and discuss the issues that Little Prince and other adopted children may face. Luckily the social worker took me seriously (wow a professional who doesn't think I'm a hysterical mother!!) and is going to liase with the Post Adoption member of the team and CAHMS to see who would be most suitable to actually go into school and knock some sense into them, WHOOPS I mean discuss the effects of early trauma and multiple caregivers on children!!

UPDATE: The letter from school basically said thank you for providing the reading material, aspects of which will be shared with the staff. The points made in our letter have been noted and the head reassures us that the school fully intends to work with us in achieving a consistent approach in providing Little Prince with the very best care and education. Hopefully (fingers crossed!) that will be the end of the agro over the matter - we shall see!! I'm not overly trusting of the school at the moment, I wonder why?!?!