Parents Evening

Yesterday evening me and Mr Messy attended Little Prince's Parent's Evening. His teacher had nothing but good things to say about him :-) Since he started on his medication he is like a different boy, he sits still, attends to his lessons and thinks deeply about the topics covered. His teacher said he working at the top end of Year 3 maths, and his reading is great too. Obviously they are still working on his writing skills, but that is improving massively all the time - he is so proud of himself that he and his teacher can read his work now :-)

Me and Mr Messy told his teacher that, unfortunately Little Prince's new prescription for his ADHD medication won't be filled until Monday, so he will be medication free for the next couple of days. We also had to tell her that sadly Mr Messy's Dad is gravely ill in hospital and isn't expected to last the night. She said that given how deeply Little Prince thinks about things, and how he has lost so much already she will see if his his Teaching Assistant can work with him throughout the day for the next couple of days, to support him through this. I was so touched by her concern for Little Prince and utter willingness to do whatever it takes to help him. She is definitely a STAR among teachers, and we and Little Prince are so lucky to have her.

Party Time

Little Prince was invited to his friend E's birthday party, they were best friends before E moved to a different local school, but still invite each other to their respective birthday parties. Little Prince really struggled this time as he was the only one from his school invited, and apart from E and his little brother he didn't know anyone. E is a nice boy, but not very empathic so he just ran off with his new school friends and left Little Prince to his own devices. Instead of having a huge tantrum or demanding to go home, Little Prince came and played with Princess Lollipop in the toddler play section. He was the PERFECT big brother, he helped her up the steps to the slide, held a huge swinging ball out of her way and then helped her down the big step to the slide. Then when some older boys came running in the toddler section he put himself between her and them, to prevent them bumping or hurting her. Then she claimed a ball as her own, and got upset when she dropped it down the slide steps and another child picked it up, without a moment's hesitation he ran and got her another one. Then he kept a close eye on her and everytime she dropped her ball again he dived to get it before any other child could touch it. He has always been a lovely big brother, but he went above and beyond at the party, I am so proud of him :-)

Potty Training (again!)

Princess Lollipop is desperately keen to use her potty, so each evening at bedtime we've been letting her have some "bare bum time." Today she was playing "Ready steady go" (ie running up and down the lounge and giggling) with Little Prince during "bare bum time" when she suddenly stopped running and went to sit on her potty, and she managed to wee in it :-) Instead of being scared this time she was thrilled with herself and wanted everyone to clap and tell her she was a big girl - which we did :-) She has spent over an hour with a bare botty and hasn't had any accidents, it looks like potty training is on its way and going well :-)

Well it went downhill from there!! Princess Lollipop had an accident and wet herself, and got hysterically upset about it :-( She seems physically ready for potty training, but emotionally she isn't there yet. I'm leaving it till nearer to Summer and see how she copes then.

Weekends are hard

To stop Little Prince continuing to lose weight on his ADHD medication, we have to let him have one or two days off medication per week. The days when he doesn't have his medication he eats huge amounts, so hopefully it is counteracting the lack of eating on medication days. However, his behaviour and levels of craziness and hyperactivity are through the roof! He is so hard to deal with, and he is exhausting everyone. No wonder Mrs LMS went to bed with a headache!!

I have no idea how to cope with this, he needs the weekend off medication to gain weight, but his behaviour is so much worse than it used to be :-(

Saturday

This morning I got Princess Lollipop up and dressed before taking her over to OUR shop with me. Leaving Mrs LMS in charge of Little Prince, for a while. I was going to meet my friend S and her son Y, and help S choose which photos to order from Y's recent photo shoot. She had to narrow it down from over 150 to 5!! It took us HOURS lol. Y is a gorgeous little lad :-) While we were sat in OUR shop choosing, a relative of S and her nephew walked past, on seeing S and Y they called in and helped me and S narrow down the photos a little more. Once we had eventually sorted out which pictures S wanted to order, she said her goodbyes and took Y to the nearest town to buy him the latest Lego Star Wars game - Little Prince will be so jealous!!

I then rang the Tyre Centre I usually use, and sorted out getting my bald tyres replaced. As the Tyre Centre doesn't book people in, you turn up and queue, left Princess Lollipop with her Daddy and Drama Teen and drove to the Tyre Centre on my own. There was quite a big queue, but the Tyre Centre head mechanic keeps it all straight in his head and knows who's turn it is, so I had a lovely relax listening to the radio :-) When my tyres had finally been fitted, balanced and whatever else you do to them lol, I drove back home.

Once home I rang Mr Messy at OUR shop to see what he wanted me to do. Our original plan had been for me to pick up Mrs LMS and Little Prince and drop Mrs LMS off at OUR shop, and pick Princess Lollipop up at the same time. However, Mrs LMS had no idea of this plan and was playing Lego Star Wars on the Playstation3 with Little Prince who wasn't even dressed!! Mr Messy agreed that as there were only a couple of hours till closing time, and the hassle it would cause to get Mrs LMS and Little Prince out to OUR shop and the fact that Princess Lollipop was fast asleep on OUR shop sofa, it would be better to wait till Princess Lollipop to wake up and just collect her. He rang me 3/4s of an hour later to let me know Princess Lollipop was finally awake, and I drove over to collect her.

When we got home again, Mrs LMS and Little Prince were still playing Lego Star Wars, and Princess Lollipop joined in with a non connected controller :-) Mrs LMS and Little Prince were getting grumpy and frustrated with the game, so I insisted they finished after that level, and had a break. Mrs LMS started to feel ill with a headache, so she took herself off for a nap. Mr Messy arrived moments later, and was a bit put out that he had to make his own cup of tea lol.

Little Prince and Princess Lollipop are currently having a crazy game of hide and seek, which isn't easy in the lounge with very few places to hide lol.

Friday

I had my car booked in for its MOT and dropped it off in the morning, the mechanic dropped me off at OUR shop, where Mr Messy had taken Princess Lollipop and Mrs LMS with him. I stayed at OUR shop with them until it was time to go and pick up Little Prince from school. I left Princess Lollipop with her Daddy and rushed home to pick up Little Prince's swimming bag, and then went round to school to collect him.

He had a great swimming lesson again, he is coming on so well at the moment. He is hugely improved at taking his shower and washing his hair after his lesson too. Before medication, he would tantrum and shout and make a huge fuss, and I almost had to hold him under the shower jet! Now he calmly shampoos his own hair and then rinses the soap off with no fuss whatsoever :-) I am so proud of him :-) We then went round to OUR shop, to see if the mechanic had called about my car - he hadn't :-( Neither me nor Mr Messy had his number on our mobiles, so I had to drive home with Mrs LMS and the littlies and find his number at home and ring him to see what was happening with my car. Apparently the MOT Test Centre had completed the Test, but forgotten to ring him until he checked with them! He was just on his way back to his own garage with my car. So then I called Mr Messy at OUR shop and said I could come and pick him up, he and Drama Teen were just having some chippie chips, so I waited a while and then went round to get him. Mr Messy dropped me off at the garage, where I was given the bad news - my car had failed its MOT :-( The worst was that it had two bald tyres!! I hadn't even realised!!

We had a quiet evening together watching TV. It was especially quiet as both littlies were in bed before 8pm!! We are so unused to Princess Lollipop going to sleep so early that by 9pm it felt like it must be midnight lol.

School pick up

Princess Lollipop decided she wanted to take her buggy and baby to school to pick up Little Prince, she wasn't too happy that we didn't walk all the way to school. But judging from her buggy driving skills once we got there I'm glad we didn't lol. She was veering all over the pavement and barely missing cars and parents!

When Little Prince came out of school he was carrying a huge jar full of sweets! Apparently there had been a "Guess how many sweets in the jar" competition and he'd won :-) He was so pleased with himself :-) He was also very possessive and said he wasn't sharing with Princess Lollipop - cue big tantrum from her!!

On the way home we parked at the village park, so that the kids could have a play in the lovely sunshine. Princess Lollipop wanted her buggy and baby to come to the park too, she threw another loud tantrum because I wouldn't let her push the buggy across the road! Given the state of her pushing skills, I wasn't taking that chance!! Once we were actually in the park, she cheered up. There was a little boy and his Mum already playing, so Princess Lollipop joined in, the little boy introduced himself and told us he was four. I'm not sure why but he kept calling Princess Lollipop "Sir"!!! I know she's bossy but still lol :-) It was funny to watch Princess Lollipop putting her baby on the swing and trying to push her :-) Then she found a stick and baby got abandoned while Princess Lollipop and the stick played on the slide for ages. Little Prince who had really enjoyed himself at the park yesterday, didn't have such a great time today. There was only one other child his age playing out, and she just followed him around and didn't really seem to play very much. He wanted to play with the older teens, who arrived for a game of football, but he was too small. So he spent his time mooching about in a bad mood, even so he still made a huge fuss about not wanting to go home !

Tidying my Drawers!! Oh er missus!!

I've just spent the evening sorting out some of the drawers in the Merchants Chest in the hall. I've filled up the paper recycling box with paperwork we don't need any more! And I've only done four drawers so far!! As well as sorting/tidying I was looking for a specific piece of paperwork, which I didn't find. I was moaning about this annoying missing piece of paper to Mr Messy, and it turns out he had the blooming paper!! Urgh!! Well at least some of the drawers are now sorted out, and I have the missing piece of paperwork I need :-)

Tidying Up

The other day Mrs LMS stayed at home with me, and Princess Lollipop went to OUR shop to be Daddy's assistant. Me and Mrs LMS started a huge sort out of the hall, which had got very messy and cluttered and the hall cupboard was covered in post that hadn't been dealt with. It took us ages but we managed to completely clear the hall cupboard and sort out all the bits of things that get put on the hall bookshelves as people come in the house. It looks so much more inviting now :-) In the evening I emptied out all the drawers containing hats/scarves/gloves and filled a bag with ones that no-one wants to wear anymore - like the 101 Dalmatians cap that Mrs LMS wore to Primary School!! I couldn't believe how many hats/scarves/gloves we had that no-one wears, or how many single gloves we had stuffed away in the drawers!! Now each person has their own drawer full of their hats/scarves/gloves and their is room to see whats in there, rather than everything bulging out when you open the drawers :-)

Next job is to go through the rest of the drawers and sort out all the paperwork that's stuffed in there. I know we have instruction leaflets in there for items we got rid of years ago, and whenever we have to find anything we need it takes hours because of all the redundant papers stuffed in there! I saw a "how to organise your home" TV show ages ago that suggested having a large file, and having a section for each room in the house, and keeping instructions/guarantees for items in each room together, making it so much easier to find! Sounds good and that's the goal I'm working towards! Could take me a while as Princess Lollipop wants to help with anything I do, and she loves ripping paper - so it will have to be done in small chunks while she's asleep!

After that I want to sort through the crowded bookshelves again, there must be books we can get rid of! Especially now Mr Messy and Drama Teen have Kindles to store their books on! And then I want to move onto the cupboard under the stairs, which is another junk store!! Once that's cleared, we should be able to hang our coats in there, instead of having them on the end of the bannister, making the hall look much tidier :-)

Potty Training

Princess Lollipop is very keen to use her "toy-ut" (toilet ie potty), so I let her have another try at potty training. I left off the bottom half of her clothes and encouraged her to use the potty, which she thought was fantastic. She sat there and suddenly leapt up shouting "WATER" in a very shocked and surprised voice! She had done her first successful "wee wee" on the potty, but it had shocked and scared her so much she refuses to go on it any more! We'll give potty training a miss for a while and try again later lol.

Monday

For no particular reason, me and Princess Lollipop didn't get up to much before her afternoon nap. Then after her nap, I gave her a quick bath and got her hair conditioned, and she didn't shout and scream too much :-) Her hair has been getting quite tangled and frizzy looking on the day between washes, so I'm going to try to condition it every day! Hopefully Princess Lollipop won't find it too traumatic!

I emailed the leaflet I'd designed to Mr Messy (my computer doesn't connect to the home computer) so that he can arrange to put it up in the Newsagents near OUR shop. And on his way home from dropping Little Prince off at school could do the same in our village newsagents. Fingers crossed there are still people out there who can afford to have their ironing done!!

Mr Messy and Mrs LMS are also trying to sort out the photo projector at OUR shop, so they can use it to show clients their photographs. Which would look a LOT more impressive, and hopefully persuade more of them to buy, more photos :-)

Mrs LMS dropped Little Prince off after school, and then went back to OUR shop. Little Prince is in a foul mood for some reason!! He has been very snappy at Princess Lollipop, which hasn't been helped that she is in a VERY possessive mood and snatches things off him everytime he touches something of hers! Its going to be a fun evening, unless they both cheer up!!!

Yet another catch up post!

The icky sickies I had earlier in the week, were thankfully short lived, and I recovered pretty quickly and I'm now feeling back to normal.

Mrs LMS had an interview and a practical test for two different jobs. Her interview seemed to go very well, and she aced her practical test (using a computer). I've got my fingers and toes crossed that she gets one or both jobs, as she is trying so hard to get something, and it must be so demoralising to keep getting rejection letters. Good luck Mrs LMS.

I spent ages early in the week researching what benefits we might be entitled to, and applying for them. I managed to apply for one online, but another one we have to wait for the application to arrive through the post and fill it in on paper, how quaint! Its going to be tough, but we'll pull together as a family and get through this. To try and boost the family coffers I've also decided to do something that anyone who knows me will think is MADNESS lol!! I'm putting adverts in the local shops offering to do ironing!! Yes IRONING!!! I detest ironing, its the job I love to hate, but if I did manage to get a few customers, then I would be able to fit it in around the family and not have to worry about childcare costs. So fingers crossed...

On Sunday me, Mrs LMS and her friend E, went to a Wedding Fayre. Mrs LMS wants to have a vow renewal ceremony over here in the UK, so she can invite all her family and friends and her friend E has already set her wedding date. I was just going along for fun :-) Oh and we were also scoping out the wedding businesses to see if there were any Mr Messy's photography business could partner with, and check out the photography competition too!! When we got there I chatted to J from the Kids Designer Boutique and spent the whole time chatting to her, while Mrs LMS and E wandered round the various stalls. We had taken Princess Lollipop with us, and she toddled around sampling cakes and cupcakes, she was given a balloon so we fastened that to her wrist and could keep an eye on exactly where she was. She was wearing her gorgeous tutu from J's shop, and got many many compliments on how gorgeous it was - great advertising for J :-) Which was my intention when I dressed her that morning lol.

Monday

Not a great start to the day, I've got an upset stomach and have just spent ages on the loo, and then been sick :-( I need to get Princess Lollipop in the bath and condition and comb through her hair, but every time I bend over I feel sick again :-( We are just snuggling on the sofa for a while to see if my tummy settles down, then hopefully I'll be able to bath her with no "incidents"!!!

Feeling better, but not 100% yet. I managed to get Princess Lollipop bathed with no incidents, but it was hard work and I had to keep stopping to let my stomach calm down again. Back to cuddling on the sofa and hoping the yukky feelings go away soon, so that I can go and get Little Prince from school with no problems!

Weekend

Little Prince's Consultant for his ADHD, wants us to try and give Little Prince at least one (preferably more) day off his medication per week. As we weren't going anywhere and weren't expecting any visitors, I decided to let him have both Saturday and Sunday off. He has been crazy and wild. I don't know how I coped with this sort of behaviour day in and day out! He is wearing me out and it is so so hard to stay calm like he needs me to be. And today (Sunday) he is way worse than he was yesterday!! He has been sat reading a book, whilst also winding up Princess Lollipop and hitting himself/the sofa/his book (hard and loudly) with a cardboard tube! I asked him to stop so many times I lost count, and in the end told him he had to take his book upstairs to read for a while. He protested A LOT but eventually took himself and his book up to his room. From all the crashing and banging I can hear he isn't reading, but at least I have a few minutes peace before he comes down causing chaos again.

I love my little man so so so much, but his hyperactive behaviour is so difficult to deal with. I hate feeling like I'm counting down till Monday and he's back at school and back on his medication, but I am doing.

Moan

Mr Messy has been extremely busy at OUR shop and with photo shoots recently, which is great for the business but not so great for me being on my own all the time. Due to our financial situation at the moment we are trying to limit our spending to essentials only, so I've been staying home all the time so as not to use more petrol than needed. The trouble is this combination has left me feeling bored, lonely and fed up. I reached the end of my tether with Princess Lollipop's sleepless nights, luckily she then started to sleep a little better, so that isn't too bad at the moment. I'm trying not to let it get to me, but I'm also feeling like the least important member of the family. Lots of little, petty things are getting to me, like the heating being off during the day (and its been perishingly cold) meaning me and Princess Lollipop shiver all day despite numerous layers. Mr Messy comes home from OUR shop tired and sits on the sofa and leaves me to deal with everything the littlies want or need, just when I need a break too. When Princess Lollipop is in her cot and we hear her wake up it is ALWAYS me that has to go and deal with her, no matter what I'm doing or watching on the TV, making me feel like what I do is not deemed as important as what everyone else is doing. The last straw was on Friday when I took Little Prince swimming. Usually either Mr Messy or since she's been home Mrs LMS, come over to the Swimming Pool car park and pick Princess Lollipop up and take her to OUR shop for the duration of the lesson. This has been the routine for the last couple of years that Little Prince has had private lessons. However, last Friday neither of them turned up!! Leaving me trying to wrangle a grumpy Princess Lollipop and less than co-operative Little Prince by myself, and I had forgotten to bring the buggy, so had to keep running after Princess Lollipop as she made a dash for the pool!! When I told Mr Messy how upset I was he said he was sorry, but then said I should have rung him to remind him!! After all this time, and the fact it is marked on our shared online calendar, I didn't think I had to remind him every week!! Again it made me feel like I am the bottom of the pile, with everything and everyone else more important than I am.

I know this is a moaning, whinge but that's how I'm feeling right now. Tomorrow could be different, fingers crossed!!

Last Week

Last week Mrs LMS was invited to an interview for a trade sales position with a bridal designer - her DREAM job. She rang me up when she received the email, and was literally bouncing on the phone, she was so excited. She has always loved "pretty dresses" - don't ask how many Prom Dresses she owns (even though she's only had 1 or 2 Proms!)!! They are all very pretty though :-) I hope her enthusiasm and obvious love of dresses shines through at her interview, and counts for more than her lack of experience, as she would LOVE this job, fingers crossed!!

Drama Teen got the results from her recent exams, which she says are "not too shabby" :-) She has also got closer to her friend S, and they are "sort of seeing each other." She seems so much happier and back to her normal bouncy self now, so I'm very relieved! Although her friend S's parents have told him that he is spending too much time with Drama Teen and not focussing on his school work (we feel the same about Drama Teen), so things will have to calm down a bit to allow them both to devote time to their studies too.

Because we are so proud of what Little Prince's teacher said about him, we bought him another copy of the second Harry Potter book (our original copy seems to have disappeared!). He has been reading it ever since and has almost finished it already!!

Princess Lollipop had a run of very disturbed nights, tiring out both me and her! I know she will eventually settle down and sleep consistently through the night, and not need to be next to me and Mr Messy, and we are willing to let her carry on sleeping with us until then - I just hope it happens one day! After a number of disturbed nights on the trot, I sometimes wonder if she'll ever sleep in her own room! She has also started to try and sing along to songs, which she mangles in typical toddler fashion :-) The "ABC" song has turned into the "ABCD Cup of Tea" song lol.

Phone Call From School!!

Last week I received a phone call from Little Prince's School. When that number comes up on the phone my heart always misses a beat, his teacher knows this and is always very quick to reassure me that there is nothing to worry about. She was calling to let me know how brilliant Little Prince is :-) Apparently they had a visitor in school, who sat in on their RE lesson, during which Little Prince asked very probing and insightful questions. The visitor asked her after the lesson who was the little boy asking all the questions, as he was brilliant :-) His teacher even said she was starting to struggle answering his questions they were getting so complex! I love these phone calls from school, I am so proud of my boy :-) And I am so grateful that he has got such a lovely teacher, who has taken the time to get to know Little Prince and who really likes him (she even said she would love to have him as her son - no chance we love him way too much!!). While I was on the phone, and Little Prince realised what we were talking about, he had a grin like a Cheshire Cat. His self esteem is growing, and he is actually starting to believe that he is just as clever as all his friends (maybe even cleverer) which after years of him thinking he was stupid, is fabulous to hear.

He also had a great report from his swimming teacher (who also adores him) he is listening to directions and putting them into practice and his swimming is improving by leaps and bounds each week :-)

Monday

Me and Princess Lollipop had an even quieter day than usual as I had a tummy bug :-( Princess Lollipop must have been feeling a bit under the weather too as she hardly left my knee all day. When it was time for her afternoon nap, I rang Mr Messy and Mrs LMS at OUR shop and asked if they could pick Little Prince up from school, so that I could have a lie down with Princess Lollipop too, which they agreed to. I felt much better after our nap, although we would have both slept longer if the phone hadn't rung!! But it was someone calling about a job Mrs LMS had applied for, so I can't complain too much.

Mrs LMS arrived with Little Prince soon after me and Princess Lollipop got up from our nap, as I was feeling better she left me with the littlies and went back to OUR shop to get some more work done. She and Mr Messy are working on an aggressive marketing campaign together, which will hopefully bring more business our way :-) She also had to ring back the people who called her, and its much quieter ringing from OUR shop, than at home with the littlies running around.

Little Prince wanted to play on Lego Harry Potter again, so I agreed to play with him for a while. We have a spare set of Wii controls, with no batteries in, that Princess Lollipop uses to "play" too :-) We played for ages and had lots of fun :-) Princess Lollipop keeps reminding us "Get a coins" and "Missed one" while we are playing lol.

While we were playing Little Prince was telling me it was UNFAIR and he was very sad and upset that he had been passed from family to family and ended up here where he didn't want to be (he was grumpy at the time so I didn't take it personally lol). I agreed with him it wasn't fair that children are moved around like he was, but also pointed out that he couldn't have stayed with Birth Mum either. So this was the decision Social Workers had made to keep him safe. He didn't agree with this and said he wishes he could have stayed with Tummy Mummy anyway. Poor lad, I know part of this was frustration and general grumpiness, but it is still such a heavy burden for a small boy to process :-(

Sunday

Me and Mrs LMS spent the morning at OUR shop Spring Cleaning. We re-arranged the displays in the shop, we tidied all the various piles of paper, we planned where Mr Messy is going to have to re-hang some of the display photographs. And we despaired over the state of Mr Messy's desk!! Then we cleaned up and got rid of all the packaging and rubbish in the back store room and dropped it all off at the tip. It doesn't sound much but it took us quite a few hours!!

When we got back Mr Messy and Drama Teen got ready to go out on a photoshoot. While they were out me and Little Prince played on Lego Harry Potter on the Wii, as today is Little Prince's "day off" his medication he was struggling to concentrate and getting very frustrated, so it was quite hard work to keep him interested.

When the photoshoot had finished, Mr Messy dropped Drama Teen off at her friend S's house and then came back home. While he and Mrs LMS looked after Princess Lollipop I took Little Prince in the dining room while he dictated a letter to be sent to his Birth Mum. While he wanted to do this, he got very agitated and fidgety, perhaps it would have been better do this on a day he was taking his medication! However, he did manage to write a short and very sweet note to his Birth Mum. And then we even ploughed our way through his homework! By the time we had finished all that it was time for Little Prince to get ready for bed, Mr Messy had already taken a fast asleep Princess Lollipop to bed. So me, Mr Messy and Mrs LMS had a grown up evening. First we watched a very cheesy early adaptation of a Sherlock Holmes story and then a dire Blackadder time travelling story. We usually LOVE Blackadder, but this one was awful!!

Various Forms of Contact

I've just finished writing the Letterbox Contact letters for Little Prince's birth family. I've got some last bits to do and then I can send them all off on Monday.

When the Letterbox co-ordinator visits Little Prince's Birth Mum to take her the letter, and help her write her reply she is going to talk to her about possible direct contact with Little Prince. I spoke to the co-ordinator around Christmas-time about initiating this and had wondered what was happening as I hadn't heard back from her. So I rang her last week to see what was going on, and we had a long and interesting chat about what it could all mean for Little Prince and for his Birth Mum. The co-ordinator had sent a letter to Birth Mum asking if she would consider having direct contact with Little Prince and had not received a reply. She feels that Birth Mum is waiting to talk to her in person about this before she makes a decision.

From our admittedly "Little Prince centred" view, now would be a good time to initiate this type of contact, as he is so much calmer now he has his ADHD medication, and he and Birth Mum have time to get to know each other before the stresses of moving to High School or teenage hormones kicking in. The co-ordinator pointed out to me that Birth Mum is probably extremely nervous about meeting with Little Prince, she will be worried about how he will react to her and if he will be angry with her (which to be honest sometime he is - he asks "Why did she even have me if she wasn't ready to be a Mum?"). And also that she would need support from Social Services to attend any meetings, she did confirm that her Dept would be both willing and able to provide her this support. My concerns are that Birth Mum might find it all too much and back out of subsequent meetings, which would cause Little Prince enormous amounts of pain and anguish. And also if Birth Mum would find it too difficult to hear Little Prince calling me Mum, and turning to me for comfort, when he is scared and nervous (which he inevitably will be) he can revert to younger behaviours, including sucking his thumb and cuddling up on my knee. From what I've gathered about Birth Mum over our years of Letterbox Contact, I don't know how she would cope with seeing that.

We haven't said anything to Little Prince about any of this, even when he continuously asks to see his "Tummy Mummy" as we don't want him to be all upset and disappointed if it doesn't work out.

Another issue I am struggling with is that I have found Birth Mum on the social networking site we use. I have even made a fake identity on there and become her friend (although I never have and probably never will actually write to her via the site)! I can now see what she and her family post on their walls and the pictures they put up too. One recent post from Birth Grandmother said that she is considering moving to run a Pub in the town near us. One of the Birth Aunts seems to go for nights out in this same town. And the last pictures Birth Mum posted were of her and family members at a tiny theme park near to us. I think we might one day bump into each other anyway, so why not have direct contact?

I originally made the fake id and friended Birth Mum to see if I could find pictures of Little Prince's birth family for him, as they don't send him many pictures in the Letterbox Contact. And I also know that as soon as Little Prince is old enough to be on the social networking site, he will search for her himself and she is very easy to find, so I wanted to "check her out" in advance. Initially it worried me that she would accept a friend request from a total stranger (who doesn't actually exist!!) and now it scares me even more how much information she gives out on the site. With very little effort I now know her address, full name of her partner, Ebay account id and mobile phone number!! Perhaps I am overly paranoid on the web, but that seems an awful lot of information to be so readily available!

I am also worrying about how I am going to tell Little Prince about what I've done on the social networking site. My current idea is to wait until he shows a serious interest in joining and then show him, hopefully by then he will have an ongoing relationship with his Birth Mum and it won't be such a big deal.

Spring at OUR shop!

I'm working on changing OUR shop decor and changing it to a Spring/Easter theme. I've just found some pretty cushion covers, a pair in yellow gingham and another one with large stylised yellow flowers on it (it looks nicer than I've made it sound lol). My other ideas are to make some different sized windmills to stick in pots in OUR shop window and then to make some bunting to swag across the three shop windows. I don't like leaving the decor too static as a change makes people notice, and hopefully generate even more business :-)

Me and Mrs LMS are nipping over to OUR shop tomorrow morning to measure for the bunting swags, and to give the place a good sort out. Leaving Mr Messy in charge for all this time has left the place looking messy and cluttered. And the back store room has loads of packaging etc that needs to be taken to the tip. I enjoy sorting things out (so long as I don't have the littlies help!!) and getting places looking organised, so it should be a good day :-)

Big More Blogging

Friday was a boring day, it must have been as I can't remember anything to blog about lol.

Today, Saturday, I woke in a fluster as I was supposed to ring my friend S and take her and her son Y to OUR shop, for Y to have a photoshoot. However, my alarm (aka a phone call from Mr Messy) hadn't gone off!! I ran around getting myself and the littlies ready and then rang my friend - answer! Arrgh!! I rang OUR shop in a panic, and Mr Messy said S and Y were already there!! Phew!! I calmed down, got Drama Teen out of bed and we did some tidying up, I even sorted all the bits and bobs of papers that I had stuffed in my handbag, its a lot lighter and more organised now :-)

In the afternoon Mr Messy's youngest brother and partner visited. They are expecting their first baby together in May so we chatted babies :-) Although Mr Messy's brother seemed more interested and excited than his pregnant partner!! I'm sure she'll be fine once the baby arrives though :-) Mr Messy has already been booked in to photograph the baby's Christening later in the year. Little Prince played happily and quietly on his DS while they were here, which is a lot different from his usual chaotic behaviour when anyone visits. I know ignoring visitors and playing on his DS isn't a very polite way to be with visitors, but while he learns and gets better at not getting chaotic when visitors arrive I think its a good compromise. We'll see how he does when they visit again with his two children from a previous relationship!

Drama Teen came downstairs to say hello and make cups of tea for everyone, before retreating back to her room. Her friend S came over on his 'ped later on and they spent their time up there watching DVDs (Meet the Robinsons and Toy Story 3).

When they left, Mrs LMS made the littlies a lovely tea of pork chops and carrots, which Princess Lollipop wolfed down. Little Prince fussed and tantrumed before we eventually got him to eat most of his meal. His medication suppresses his appetite and we are still struggling to get him to eat enough.

Mrs LMS also made tea for me, Mr Messy and herself - she is my little star :-) She was very embarassed that she over cooked the food, but it still tasted good, so no worries there :-) I find food always tastes better when someone else cooks :-)

Back after Computer Meltdowns!

Not much blog-able has happened since I last blogged, which is good as I've been having computer troubles and couldn't blog much anyway! My own laptop died a month or so ago, it needs a new drive or something, and Mr Messy hasn't got around to fixing it. Mr Messy let me use his spare laptop, but then the power cable broke (after my last blog). I've had the privilege of using Drama Teen's laptop sometimes while she was out at College so I didn't feel totally cut off from the world, thank you sooooooo much Drama Teen I really appreciate it. The new power supply for Mr Messy's spare laptop arrived in the post this morning and it works, well obviously as I'm using it lol. It feels so good to be reconnected properly lol. I think I'm addicted to the internet!! Scratch that I KNOW I'm addicted to the internet!!

Mrs LMS is determinedly continuing her job search, although I'm sure it must be disheartening for her, she keeps plugging away. She went for one interview and got through numerous stages, only to be told right at the end she doesn't have enough sales experience - a fact that could have been gathered from her CV in the very first step, rather than get her hopes up!! She didn't really want that particular job, but the money was good and would have been a great help in obtaining Mr LMS's Spouse Visa. She has another interview today, and should be arriving here from OUR shop very shortly to get ready for that. That job doesn't start until May, so she still has to carry on trying to find a job in the meantime. Its a tough time to be job hunting, but she is throwing herself into it and trying every avenue she can to find work. If anyone out there knows of someone in our vicinity that is hiring - let us know!!

Its World Book Day today and Little Prince had a choice of dressing as Harry Potter (but with a Slytherin coloured tie rather than a Gryfinndor coloured one!) or as Anakin Skywalker. He tried the Harry Potter but didn't like it and ended up going as Anakin. Mr Messy had an early appointment, so Mrs LMS was getting him ready this morning, and in all the chaos of costume choosing she forgot to give him his medication. Me and Princess Lollipop took it up to school for him later, she was so excited to see Little Prince and devastated to leave without him :-(

Drama Teen's split with her boyfriend seems to be permanent this time and she is hurting so much. She has been over to other friend's houses and had friends over to our house, which seems to cheer her up tremendously. I'm glad she has good friends to rely on who are helping her through this. I still wish I could do something to help, as I hate seeing my baby hurting.

Princess Lollipop had a pretty rough ride with an unspecified infection, and her sleep has been pretty disturbed ever since. She wakes multiple times in the night shouting "Up Mummy" even when she is already being cuddled. She insists that I cuddle her most of the night, and I get so achy lying in one position all night! I really could do with a good full nights sleep!! On the positive side, Princess Lollipop's speech has taken another leap forward, she is making longer and longer sentences and lapping up new words all the time. She comes out with some funny stuff too, although I wasn't too impressed when instead of coming with me so I could get her ready for bed, she stood in the middle of the lounge bellowing "Mummy come bat wite NOW!" It amused the rest of the family though!! Just wait tills he starts bossing them around like that!!!

Mr Messy has been looking for a new contract (to supplement what the photography business brings in) since Christmas and it has now come to the point that we have no more available funds in the contracting business to draw on, and he has been forced to sign on for Jobseekers Allowance. This is really hurting his pride, he has always enjoyed being able to provide a high standard of living for us all, and this is a big blow for him. I am very proud of the way he is handling it, as I know how much he hates having to ask for government handouts. I know he will find a contract soon, and the Allowance will tide us over till that time, although things will be VERY TIGHT! We are cutting back on all non essential expenditure and trying to tighten our belts as much as possible. We are a strong family unit and I have no doubt that we will make it through this tough time together.